


Why do you treat me like trash?

by Poncho_muskrat



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alcohol, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depressed Lance (Voltron), Drunk Sex, Friends With Benefits, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Langst, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, lance has a sad past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-13 04:53:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15356673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poncho_muskrat/pseuds/Poncho_muskrat
Summary: Lance has a hard time coping after Keith gets drunk and kicks him out after they kiss





	Why do you treat me like trash?

**Author's Note:**

> //TRIGGER WARNING//  
> Mentions of suicide and self harm if this offends you in any way I suggest you don’t read

Lance was excited when Pidge said she had a new roommate. Lance knew that Pidge stayed in her room all day watching shows and reading books, he knew she needed someone to convince her to go out and see the sun every once in a while. 

Pidge had insomnia, it was obvious to everybody she met. She would stay up late working on science stuff Lance didn’t understand when she explained them to him, and she always had dark bags under her eyes. 

Every once in a while Lance would go to her apartment in the middle of the day and make sure she’s eaten something, he’ll take away her computer and convince her to try and get some sleep. Sometimes when she won’t listen Lance will have to give her a sleeping pill and tell her it’s ibuprofen for a headache. 

Lance hated lying to her, but he, Hunk, and Allura had all agreed it was for the better, but Lance still felt like it was drugging her. Lance was way to over protective of her, they all knew it. 

A couple years ago when Pidge was still in high school she had had really bad insomnia, they had to take her to the hospital for malnutrition. Lance and Hunk had been the only ones to go to her high school, but Allura was heartbroken when she had learned after they all became friends in college. 

They all felt bad for not knowing, Pidge had been going through some stuff at the time. Her brother was going off to the garrison and she had to deal with bullying all by herself. 

She wanted to get out of her high school so bad to join the garrison so she spent all her time studying, barely sleeping and eating or just taking care of herself in general. 

It was her mother that found her passed out on the ground, Pidge had passed out from lack of nutrients and she took her to the hospital. 

From then on they all decided they needed to help take care of her. Pidge told them she was fine but they all knew she secretly appreciated it on the inside. 

Lance was happy she would finally have another friend close enough to help with all her stress. Then there wouldn’t be as much of it on all of them. 

When the day finally came and Pidge’s new roommate moved in, Lance was shocked to say the least. Pidge had invited all of them over to meet him, and he was the exact opposite of what Lance was hoping for. 

“This is Keith! He is going to be living with me from now on!” Pidge introduced him proudly. Keith gave a small awkward wave, Lance narrowed his eyes at the fingerless gloves he wore. The man had on black ripped skinny jeans, a black tee shirt, a red flannel, and wore checkered black and white converse. Plus he had a mullet, seriously, it’s 2018 who still has mullets?!

“Keith! It’s a pleasure to finally meet you!” Hunk said. “My name is Hunk, i’m the chef of the group, also I give good hugs so don’t be embarrassed to ask.” Keith gave him a small smile and nod. 

“My name is Allura, and if you ever want to talk or go shopping i’m the girl to come too.” She said with a smile. 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Keith mumbled loud enough for her smile to brighten. Lance sighed and uncrossed his arms. 

“I’m Lance........” the Cuban said, keeping it short. 

“Good to know.” Keith smirked at him, Lance had a bad feeling about him. 

“Pidge, how about you get Keith situated while Lance and I get the rest of his things.” Allura offered. Lance raised his eyebrow at her in suspicion. 

“Sounds good. Keith, it is time for the tour!” Pidge clapped her hands together. “Hunk!” She called. “Make celebration cookies for everyone!” Hunk saluted her and made his way to the kitchen. 

Allura grabbed Lance’s arm and they went outside to get Keith’s stuff. 

“What’s wrong?” She asked immediately after the door closed behind him. 

“Nothings wrong.” Lance said. 

“Lance, you always love meeting new people, why not Keith?” She could always see right through him, Lance hated it. 

“I wanted Pidge to have someone to get her out of the house. Keith is obviously a loner, this isn’t someone Pidge needed. I’m just upset, that’s all.” Lance said. 

“We know you care deeply for Pidge, she’s like your little sister, but Keith won’t just ignore what’s happening to her. We’ll tell him and hopefully he can help. Don’t be upset, Lance.” Allura said, putting a hand on his shoulder. Lance sighed and nodded. 

Luckily for the both of them, Keith’s luggage was right outside the door. Apparently he and Pidge had brought it up together. All Lance and Allura had to do was bring it inside his room. 

After Keith was settled in and unpacked everything in his new room, which had been the guest room, they all ate cookies and watched tv. 

They all said something about themselves while the show they were watching went on. 

Pidge said she’s loved science ever since she was a toddler, and that she and Matt would always win science fairs. 

Hunk said his mom taught him cooking when he was a kid and when his other mama would come home from where she was stationed at they would make a big dinner for the three of them. 

Allura told them how she started her clothing business when she was just nineteen, and it was really successful. 

Lance explained that he really liked playing fútbol back in Cuba with all of his siblings, on weekends he would go to the park and teach kids how to play. Keith just had to make that comment about how ‘nice that was of him’. Lance just shrugged. 

Keith said he was at the garrison for video game designing, which is how he met Pidge in his class, said his brother encouraged him to follow his dreams or whatever. 

Lance left first, he didn’t want to sit there any longer and listen to the rest of them talking. 

“Ah come on, Lance. We’re about to have dinner!” Pidge said, trying to convince him to stay. 

“Sorry, Pigeon. I got places to be, ladies to wow.” Lance said, opening the door and closing it behind him. 

“I don’t think he likes me very much.........” Keith visibly deflated. Hunk put a hand on his shoulder. 

“He’ll warm up, don’t worry about it too much.” The dark skinned man said to try and sooth his worries. 

“Hunk is right, lance is just worried about Pidge, that’s all.” Allura said, making Keith raise his eyebrow. 

“Why would he be worried?” The ebony man asked. 

“I talked to him about it, he said he wanted someone less......anti social......to be her roommate so she’ll go outside more.” She explained. 

“I can take care of myself perfectly fine!” Pidge argued. 

“Does he not want me here?” Keith’s shoulders dropped and Allura looked at him sympathetically. 

“If you show him that Pidge is in good hands, he’ll calm down. He’s very protective of her.” Hunk said. 

“I’ll do what I can.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It took a while for Lance to warm up to Keith. Three months to be exact. They still didn’t talk much, Lance tried to keep his distance, but Keith knew Lance didn’t have a problem anymore. 

Keith had done what he was told, got Pidge to eat and sleep, and he actually got her to start falling asleep at around 10 pm every night which was surprising to all of them. They all wondered how he did it, but Keith wasn’t one to tell them his secret. 

Maybe it was because it was embarrassing and he didn’t want to tell them? Or it was because he didn’t want them having all the glory, which was what he told himself. 

Pidge had agreed not to tell them either, because she was embarrassed too. She had laughed the first time Keith had offered it, but he insisted it really helped, so she agreed. 

Keith read her bedtime stories, and they worked. Keith had told her that his brother used to read him stories to help him sleep, apparently he had the same problem too and rarely got enough sleep. So they both decided on 10 pm to be their bed time. 

It changed a lot around their apartment. They were both more energized in the mornings and they ate three meals a day. 

Keith was proud of the work he had done, he felt accomplished as a roommate. 

It was around Christmas time when Keith started to notice Lance’s behavior change around him, not necessarily in a good way, but not in a bad way either. He seemed more nervous rather than angry almost. Keith wanted to know what was wrong with him. 

Lance was currently at the bar table. They were all at his and Hunks apartment for a Christmas party they had every year where Hunk would bake a whole shit load of desserts and they would just hang out. 

Lance busied himself on his phone, texting some girl from one of his classes. The rest of them were in the living room talking and laughing. Lance was bored, but he didn’t exactly want to see Keith at the moment, for......reasons he’d rather not say. 

He felt Hunk’s big hand rest of his shoulder, lance put down his phone to look up at the big man. 

“Hey, dude.” Hunk greeted. Lance knew he was in for it now. He wasn’t hanging out with his friends like he should be, Hunk was probably disappointed in him. 

“Hey......” Lance mumbled. Hunk sat down in the seat next to him and sighed. 

“I know something’s up with you, Christmas is your favorite holiday, why aren’t you celebrating it with us?” Hunk asked. Lance felt bad that he was making Hunk worried about him. 

“I just don’t feel good, that’s all.” Lance gave a cheap lie, knowing Hunk would see that he was lying. 

“Have you been feeling okay lately? You’ve been pulling away from us......” Great, now Hunk was really worried about him. 

“Hunk, really i’m fine it’s just.....” Lance sighed. “I don’t think i’m ready to talk about it yet, just trust me on this?” Lance asked. Hunk nodded. 

“I’m always here once you figure it out, we all are.” Hunk left the table and Lance got up to go to his room to sleep. He didn’t exactly know how he was feeling right now. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a month later when Lance finally understood what his feelings were. At first he didn’t know how he had felt about Keith, he wanted to dislike him, but Lance couldn’t find himself to doing that. 

It wasn’t until he really saw Keith that he understood. He saw the way he laughed when he was talking to Pidge or Hunk. Lance started to really notice the little things about him that he hadn’t before. He noticed Keith would tuck his hair behind his ears when he was embarrassed, and he would fiddle with his hands when he was nervous. He noticed when he was bored he would doodle little pictures of cartoon characters on paper when he thought no one was looking, Lance thought it was cute. Lance thought Keith was pretty cute. 

Which is why he was so emotionally unstable he could barely think. 

Back in high school Lance had been bullied for being bi, which wasn’t really uncommon in most schools it was just uncommon for him since he was popular. 

He was the captain of the soccer team and he was loved by all the ladies since freshman year, but when he was caught kissing a guy behind the bleachers he lost a lot of friends, even the guy he kissed acted like he didn’t know him. 

That was sophomore year, which put Lance on an emotional roller coaster. He had been attracted to both guys and girls since the fifth grade, he realized that after he pushed Josh Zuckerman off the swings.

Lance had a hard time during high school, he tried keeping his friends and his grades up and he was having a hard time staying happy. 

His junior year was the first time he brought a blade to his wrist, and he liked it. It helped with all the stress he had. 

Lance’s first mistake was telling his parents about his sexuality. He didn’t like keeping stuff from them, he felt bad, and keeping his secret about cutting was already enough to hide. 

It was the middle of his junior year when he told them, his Dad got mad and left them. Everything was tense afterwards, Lance didn’t feel close to his mamá anymore. Lance blamed himself for tearing their family apart. 

He had to help around the house a lot more, but Lance didn’t mind, he felt like he deserved it. He would make dinner and take care of his younger siblings. His older siblings didn’t know how to feel about him, they didn’t blame him because he was bi they just wanted to know why he would tell their parents, apparently it was plainly obvious that their Dad was homophobic. But Lance didn’t know that. 

Lance knew his Mamá was mad at him, he decided to keep things to himself from then on. He didn’t tell her about the cutting. 

Even now that he was better, four years later, now 20, she still didn’t know. Lance still blamed himself for doing that to his family, he didn’t want to make her think she was a bad mom, because she wasn’t. 

This was the reason why Lance felt scared of his feelings he felt for Keith. He didn’t know Keith well enough to know if he was homophobic, even though the fingerless gloves said otherwise, but Lance didn’t want to assume. 

Lance didn’t know what to do about this, so he went to Hunk. It was around 11 pm at night, thankfully a weekend, and they were both watching Wall-E in the living room. Lance told himself it was know or never. 

“Hunk, I think i’m ready to talk about my feelings now.” Lance whispered just loud enough for the Samoan boy to look over. 

“Sure, anything for you, buddy.” Hunk said. Hunk noticed the look on Lance’s face immediately, it meant he was scared. “Hey, don’t be afraid to say anything, i’m your friend.” Lance nodded and took a deep breath. 

“I know what these f-feelings are.” Lance stuttered over his words. “And i’m s-scared of them. I don’t know what to d-do.......” 

“What feelings?” Hunk asked gently, slightly worrying. 

“I think I have a crush on Keith........” Lance said in such a weak voice it made him sound vulnerable. 

“Oh Lance, you shouldn’t be afraid of those feelings. If you like Keith than you should ask him out!” Hunk said encouragingly. Lance shut his eyes tightly and shook his head. 

“You know what happened last time I liked a guy, Hunk! I lost all my friends! I lost my Dad! It ruined my life!” Lance was crying now, he hated it. 

“Lance.......Keith would never hurt you like that, you know that, plus i’m about 85 percent sure he likes you too. I’m not forcing you too tell him, but I highly encourage you, I know what happens when you bottle up your feelings.” Hunk said. Lance nodded and wiped away his tears. Hunk wrapped his arms around the smaller man and they cuddled. 

“You’re too good to me, Hunk.” Lance whimpered, still clearly upset. Hunk kissed the top of his head and hugged him tighter. 

“It’s ‘cuz I love you.” 

“Love you too.” Lance said quietly. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lance tried to not be afraid of his feelings for Keith, Hunk said he might’ve liked him back too, so there was no reason for him to be afraid. 

Sometimes he would see Keith glance at him, usually Lance would blush and look away, and when Lance didn’t look away he would see Keith smirk and then go back to what he was doing. 

Lance didn’t really know what that meant, which kind of sucked, he hated not knowing stuff. 

He tried bonding with Keith more too, which was hard since Lance had a hard time controlling his feelings around him, but at least he tried. 

He could tell Keith probably knew he liked him, and he didn’t know how to feel about that since Keith hadn’t said anything. So......maybe Keith didn’t like him? Maybe Keith was just using him?

Lance tried to rid himself of those thoughts, Keith was his friend.....maybe.....he knew Keith wouldn’t mess with his heart like that. But it still hurt, Lance didn’t know how to feel about the situation anymore. 

He didn’t want to say anything about it, if Keith liked him back, then Lance would let Keith come to him. 

Because Lance didn’t have that kind of confidence yet. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It took another month for the two of them to actually start talking, Keith had started the first conversation, mentioning something about it raining that day. Lance had nodded and that was it. 

But it went on from there, they started talking more and more, most of the times just little sentences. But Lance called those baby steps to success. 

Lance officially called Keith a friend now, because he was finally comfortable with starting a conversation with the ebony boy, Lance was so proud of himself. 

Sometimes he noticed Keith staring at him a little to long, which confused Lance even more than he already was, but he wasn’t complaining. 

Lance just wondered if Keith would ever make the first move, because if he didn’t, than that meant Lance would have to. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t Lance’s idea to go to this stupid party, it was Pidge’s, and he only agreed because Pidge promised to share some of her peanut butter cookies with him next time Hunk made them for her. 

He told them all he wasn’t going to drink though, they all booed at him but Lance didn’t care because he had an eight o’clock class the next morning and he was not planning on going with a hangover. 

Lance didn’t really have a lot of choices for people to hang out with there either, Hunk had found his girlfriend Shay, Pidge disappeared the minute she walked through the door, and Allura was hanging out with her girlfriends. So that left Keith, who was drunk and holding onto his arm for balance. 

“I am never letting you have alcohol ever again.” Lance said loud enough to be heard over the music. 

“If I had a dollar for every time I heard someone say that, I’d have a lot of dollars.” Keith slurred. Lance was starting to regret coming to this party, he didn’t even remember whose it was, one of Allura’s friends or something. He had never been in this house before, they’re usual parties were at Jessica Bakers house just down the street, another one of Allura’s friends. 

“I’m sure you’d be rich, Buddy.” Lance said. Keith looked like he was about to say something but he was cut off when someone bumped into him, making his beer cup spill onto his dark grey long sleeve shirt. 

“Oh no, I need another beer.” Keith said, looking down at his wet clothes. Lance grabbed his arm and led them to the front door. 

“And that’s our cue to leave.” 

Lance drove them both back to Keith’s apartment, Lance was struggling to keep his cool with him drunk singing, he was very loud. Keith also took three naps on the way there, in which he all woke up singing to the radio. Lance prayed to the lord when they made it to the apartment. 

“Thank god, we’re here.” Lance said, sounding relieved. He dragged Keith along with him and it was hard getting him to the elevator, it was even harder dealing with him in the elevator. Keith was pretending they were in a spaceship and he was yelling off the top of his lungs. “Keith I swear to god, if you don’t shut the hell up, I’ll punch you. Your neighbors are trying to sleep!” Lance warned. 

Keith waved him off as he stepped out of the elevator and onto his floor. 

“Yea Yea, Paul in room 204 deserves it!” Keith yelled down the hall. Lance groaned and unlocked the door. 

“Let’s get you changed and into bed, alright?” Lance asked, hoping Keith would cooperate with him. Keith gave him a thumbs up and Lance sat him down on the couch. “Good, now stay here and don’t move, i’m going to get some stuff.” 

Lance ended up getting aspirin and water to put next to his bed for the morning when he had a headache, and he got a wet, ringed out towel so Keith’s skin wouldn’t be sticky. 

Lance brought Keith to his room and the Cuban has a hard time taking off Keith’s shirt. 

“Are you trying to seduce me, McClain?” Keith slurred tiredly. Lance rolled his eyes after finally taking the shirt off and putting it in the hamper. 

“I’m trying to clean you, now stay still.” Lance ordered. He gently rubbed Keith’s chest with the towel, trying not to pay attention to his broad shoulders or his abs, he felt Keith’s hand lift his chin to see his face. Keith had a different look in his eyes, Lance didn’t have enough time to realize what was happening until he felt Keith’s soft lips on his own. 

Lance immediately kissed back with hunger, he had been craving Keith for so long, it almost hurt physically holding back. Keith’s lips were soft and tasted like beer, and that’s when Lance snapped back to reality, Keith was drunk, he couldn’t take him for granted like this. 

Lance pushed Keith away from him and wiped his lips, Keith didn’t take that in a good way. The ebony boy turned away in anger. 

“Get out.” Keith said. 

“Keith, you can’t be serious-“

“I said, get out!” He growled. Lance was hurt, he didn’t know why Keith wouldn’t understand. Lance tried putting a hand on his shoulder but Keith suddenly turned around and pushed him out of his room, so forcefully Lance fell on his butt. Keith slammed the door shut after that, leaving Lance on the cold, hard ground. 

Lance sat there for a moment or two in shock and pain. Keith........kicked him out because Lance didn’t kiss him back? Lance got up and went to the front door, closing it softly behind him as he exited. He checked the time, 2:34 AM, he was sure Hunk was home by now. Lance didn’t feel like dealing with him right now though, but he also didn’t want to be alone, he didn’t trust himself. 

It took a bit of walking for him to find himself in front of his old friends house, he hadn’t talked to her since high school and to be honest, she was what he needed at the moment. 

She lived in a light blue house, Lance didn’t know if she was dating anybody, but at the moment he didn’t care, he just needed a friend. He hoped she was up, he didn’t want to disturb her sleep. 

Lance knocked on the door, luckily she opened it less than a minute later, she was wearing a robe and she didn’t look that tired, lucky for him. 

She looked surprised to see him, and Lance could see the pity on her face. 

“Lance? What’s wrong?” She let him in and they sat down on her couch. “Why are you crying?” Was he? He didn’t even notice. 

“I just needed a place to stay, I hope that’s okay.” Lance said weakly, he felt so vulnerable at the moment, feeling only a little bit better when she rubbed his back softly. 

“Of course, Lance. Whatever you need.” She said. 

Lance was happy to sleep on the couch, it was comfortable enough to where he didn’t complain. He was happy to sleep here if it meant not going back to his apartment and face Hunk and the others. 

Still though, Lance fell asleep crying. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lance woke up way to early the next day, he only got four hours of sleep, meaning it was around 6. Lance could see a figure making breakfast in the kitchen, so he wasn’t the only one up. 

Plaxum was a friend from high school, they met freshman year and became good friends. She knew about all the stuff Lance had been through, only she and Hunk knew about the cutting. 

Plaxum had naturally light blonde hair, except she was always dying it, at the moment it was light blue, it matched her dark blue eyes. She had pale skin and her cheeks were always pink. Lance always thought she was beautiful, but they had never liked each other that way. 

He knew she would question him, Lance was trying to ready himself for that talk. It felt too early to be talking about it though, it had just happened last night. 

Lance laid in his makeshift bed for a couple more minutes before getting up and facing his fears. She smiled sadly at him and placed a plate of breakfast in front of him on the counter. Lance thanked her. She grabbed her own plate and sat down next to him. 

“So are we going to talk about you comming to my house at 2:30 in the morning crying?” She asked. Lance sighed. 

“Might as well.........” he mumbled. “I was at a party and my friend Keith spilt beer in his shirt so I took him home and he was super drunk and I changed him out of his wet clothes and he kissed me..........” Lance paused, and took a minute to make sure he voice wouldn’t crack. “And he got mad when I pushed him away, and he kicked me out. I don’t know what i’m going to do, I ruined our friendship.” Lance hid his face in his hands and started crying all over again. She rubbed his back to try and calm his nerves down a little, Lance appreciated it. 

“Lance, that’s not your fault. It’s his fault for kissing you in the first place. Everybody knows it’s the number one rule not to kiss your drunk friend. You did the right thing, hopefully he’ll just forget about it, and maybe you could talk to him about it so he understands what he did.” She offered. Lance nodded, yet continued to cry. She hugged him tightly and ran her fingers through his hair. 

They ate their breakfast in silence, Lance didn’t mind the quiet though. Once it was around 7 Lance decided he should probably head home so he’s not late to his class. 

“You can stay here whenever you want, don’t forget that, okay?” She asked from the front door. Lance smiled then nodded to her, and started walking down the street to his apartment. 

When Lance opened the door, Hunk was passed out on the couch and Shay was in the kitchen making breakfast for the two of them, Lance didn’t acknowledge her. 

He went straight down the hall and into the bathroom, he turned on the shower and started slowly undressing. He smelled like beer, which wasn’t surprising even though he didn’t drink any. 

Once he was naked he stepped into the shower, not minding it wasn’t hot yet, and started scrubbing his skin. 

Lance always hated the shower, he hated looking at his body in any way, there were too many scars. Back in high school he had tried cutting anywhere he could’ve without being caught. First it was the wrists, then thighs, then he would cut on a certain place on his body deeply and if someone asked about it, he would make up an excuse. 

He had a long white scar on the side of his calf, when his mama asked about it, he said it was from redecorating his room. God, he hated lying, but he also hated not being in control. 

Lance had ruined his body, it was obvious, the white lines stood out perfectly on his tan skin. He was self conscious about wearing short sleeves still, Hunk had said nobody would notice, but Lance didn’t trust it. He didn’t want his friends to know. 

Lance stepped out of the shower after he was done washing off the face mask he put on. He wrapped a black towel around his waist and gathered his things. 

He put the clothes in his hamper so he could remind himself to do his laundry every once in a while. 

He put on a pair of black skinny jeans, brown boots, a tan flannel wrapped around his waist, a white shirt, and to top it all off, a black leather jacket. 

Lance grabbed his phone and left the room, Shay was still in the same place as she was before, but he didn’t spare her a look as he walked to the front door and left. 

Since it was still a little early, Lance decided to get a coffee from Starbucks so time would pass a little quicker. 

He walked to his class quietly. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the time it was 10:30 AM, Lance’s class was done, just note taking today. He was walking down the street when he got a text from Hunk, he was asking if he wanted to go to the diner down the street from their apartment. Lance agreed even though he wasn’t really in the mood to eat anything at the moment. 

The walk there was silent and depressing, but after 10 minutes Lance made it. Everybody was already there in their usual booth they sat at. Hunk was sitting on the left side saving a seat for him, Keith and Allura sat on the right side, and Pidge had a chair pulled up on the end, this was how they usually sat. 

Lance sat down next to Hunk and tried not to make eye contact with Keith, but it seemed Keith wouldn’t look in his direction either. 

“Dude, where were you last night? You never came home!” Hunk said, pulling him into a bear hug. 

“Let me live my life, Hunk.” Lance joked. 

“Fine, but you scared me bro.” Hunk said. 

“Okay, anyway, can we talk about Allura’s dancing last night?!” Pidge yelled while Allura banged her head on the table. 

The rest of lunch was awkward for Lance, he didn’t know what to say or do, every time he tried to talk, Keith would say something or glare at him. Lance didn’t know why, he hadn’t done anything wrong. Maybe Keith was just a jerk? Maybe Keith wanted all the attention on himself? Lance didn’t know the answer, but he did know it had ruined their friendship. 

It went like this for the next couple of weeks, Keith would be rude to him and Lance couldn’t find himself facing his friends when they questioned him. He knew Hunk was concerned about him, Lance hadn’t been sleeping at their apartment very often, Hunk wanted to know where he had run off to. 

Lance had gone back to Plaxum’s house, she said she didn’t mind the extra company anyway. Luckily for Lance, she had cleaned up the guest bedroom so he didn’t have to sleep on the couch all the time. 

Lance kept feeling worse about himself, at his and Hunks apartment they didn’t have anything Lance could use to harm himself, Hunk made sure of that. Here though, Plaxum didn’t think that Lance was still thinking about cutting. 

The truth was that Lance still had days where he thought about it, which wasn’t surprising since he never got professional help for it. He never told anybody because he never thought he would actually go through with it. 

Lance sat on his new bed as he held the razor in his hand, Plaxum had bought him bathroom essentials and Lance guessed she wanted him to use this for his face........but Lance had other ideas. 

He knew she wouldn’t be up at this time it was almost 4 AM and she said she had to go to work early the next morning, so Lance didn’t hesitate to put the razor to his wrist and slide it across. It felt good, he had missed the feelings it brought. 

He stopped once both of his arms were cut up, he felt relaxed and maybe even a little happier than he was before. He may have felt relaxed now, but Lance knew better, he would regret this in the morning when the aching came. But that didn’t mean it would stop him from doing it again. He quietly went to the bathroom and cleaned up his mess, watching as the blood washed down the drain in interest. 

Plaxum had a first aid kit under the sink, which Lance was grateful for. He carefully bandaged up with arms and sighed. He knew this was just the start of something horrible, it was only a matter of time before he cracked. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hunk was downright worried out of his mind for Lance, he didn’t know where the Cuban boy was half the time. It had been a long time since he had acted this way, pulling away from his friends. Lance had said he was scared of his feelings for Keith, but were those the only feelings he was scared of? Was Lance ignoring them because he didn’t want to get close to Keith? Did something happen between them? 

At the moment, Hunk was currently panicking in Pidge’s living room, but Pidge didn’t realize it u til she noticed Hunk’s eyes darting around the room. 

“Hunk? You okay, Buddy?” She asked, catching the attention of Allura, who was also in the room. 

“I-I’m worried about L-Lance.” He stuttered. 

“God, the poor boy, I can’t remember the last time I saw him.” Allura commented. 

“He has been pulling away from all of us recently.” Pidge glared at the ceiling, something she did when she was in her deep thinking mode. 

“Maybe if we ask him, he’ll tell us?” Allura asked. Hunk shook his head. 

“No, Lance is too stubborn, he likes to bottle up his feelings until he can’t anymore.” 

“Then I guess that means we’ll just have to wait until he cracks?” Pidge offered. Hunk sighed. 

“It will do more harm than good, but I don’t see another way.” Allura said. 

“Than it’s decided, we wait while Lance suffers in his own misery.” Pidge said, earning a punch on the arm from Hunk. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A couple weeks later Lance finally agreed to hang out at his apartment with the gang, he didn’t want to since Hunk said everybody would be there, but he didn’t want them to be so worried about him. So he decided maybe he would spend maybe an hour there and see how things turned out. 

When he got there they were all talking, Pidge ran over and hugged him, saying she missed seeing his stupid face. 

“Been a while, hasn’t it?” Lance asked sheepishly. 

“I was about to go on my computer and track you.” Pidge said. Lance patted her head and sat down on the couch. 

He glanced up at Keith, who just glared and looked away, Lance looked at his shoes in shame. 

“We hope you’re not planning on going anywhere today, we were all planning on having a sleepover.” Allura said. Lance frowned at the ground. 

“Actually, I was going to a party tonight, sorry to disappoint.” Lance said. 

“You don’t hang out with us but you’re willing to go to a party?” He heard Pidge grumble. Lances frown deepened. 

“Well sorry if I can’t live up to your standards, but I promised my friend I would go and I don’t want to disappoint her.....” Lance mumbled. 

“We’re your friends to you know, but I guess anything for a girl, right?” Lance knew Pidge was mad, she always got mad, but Lance couldn’t find himself to care if he was breaking their friendship apart. 

“Can you just be happy for me?” Lance asked. 

“Happy for you?! Happy that you’re tearing our family apart?! Happy that you’d rather go to a party than spend time with your friends?!” Pidge yelled at him. 

“Pidge.” Allura warned sternly. Lance crossed his arms and glared at the ground. 

“No, it’s fine, Allura. Pidge is right, i’m sorry I haven’t been spending time with you guys but I just need time to think things over.” Lance said, he thought Pidge would go crazy by the desperate look in her eyes. She put her hands on his shoulders and held them tightly, staring right into his eyes. 

“Think things over with us! We’re here for you!” Pidge sounded like she could cry, but Lance didn’t care, he pushed her hands off his shoulders and walked towards the front door. 

“Sorry Pigeon, I have a party to be at.” Lance closed the front door behind him and left them in a state of shock and anger. Pidge screamed and kicked the coffee table, making Allura’s water cup fall and break on the ground. 

“Pidge, calm down!” Hunk yelled at her. 

“I swear if he doesn’t start talking to us again soon, I’ll kill him!” She yelled. Keith crossed his arms and glared out the window, this was Lance’s fault, he was doing this to himself. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lance walked to the party alone, he didn’t exactly want to go, no one was asking him to be there either, so that was a lie. He just wanted-no, needed to get drunk tonight. He needed to let all his worries go down the drain for just one night. 

It was late in the evening, The the party had already started. Lance recognized a lot of people there, most of them greeted him. Lance went straight to the keg and downed a cup of beer. 

Time went by weird, Lance’s mind was fuzzy and he couldn’t exactly remember where he was, but he was having fun. He remembers some girl kissing him and he remembers chugging beer and the crowd cheering, somehow he ended up in the bathroom on the second floor. 

He pulled out his phone, it was 2:46 AM, he needed to get home so Plaxum wouldn’t get worried about him. He didn’t want her to think he got hit by a car or anything. 

Lance made his way to the front door, he heard some people say goodbye to him, he squeaked when he felt someone slap his butt, and proceeded to run into the kitchen counter, but luckily made it outside in less than two minutes. 

He walked down the street, thinking over things that had happened over the months. He liked to think of himself as a bipolar drunk, Happy one minute, sad the next. 

He just so happened to cross a bridge on the way back, he stood at the edge for five minutes looking down at the long drop into water. He had to physically force himself away when he started thinking about jumping off. He couldn’t do that yet, Plaxum was expecting him home. 

As he walked down the street, he felt cold and lonely. His hands were numb by this point and he could see his hot breath in the air. He wondered if it would have been cold at the bottom of that river like it is now. 

When he made it to Plaxum’s house he opened the door with a shaky hand and closed it behind him. 

“Lance!” He heard his name called from the kitchen. “Where were you? I was so worried, I thought you......I didn’t know if you were okay.” 

Lance felt himself being hugged, he craved for warmth at this moment. Lance hid his face in her neck, liking the sweet smell of cinnamon and coconut. 

“Lance?” She asked worriedly. Lance wrapped his arms around her and tried not to let his tears fall. He didn’t want to ruin her shirt. 

“Plax, do you think you could do me a hug favor?” Lance asked, hoping she would agree. 

“Of course, Lance. Anything for you.” She said. Lance slowly put his hands under her shirt and she got the message. “Only tonight, okay? I’m only agreeing to this because I know you need it right now. I don’t want this to ruin our friendship.” 

“It won’t.” Lance said. She nodded and held onto his hand, bringing him to her room. 

She undressed him slowly, taking off his shirt and pants, planting sweet kisses all over his body. Lance helped her take off her shirt, he then realized she wasn’t wearing a bra underneath, then went to her shorts. 

Plaxum guided Lance to sit on the bed and she straddled his lap, letting him pepper kisses on her neck. 

Lance felt her soft skin and curves and warmth filled his chest. He felt loved, in more than one way, he hadn’t believed he could ever be loved. 

His mind was still foggy, he didn’t remember laying down, but suddenly Plaxum was on top of him and he could only feel pleasure. He let out a low moan and caressed her waist. He could feel her moving up and down, it took a minute for Lance to realize she was riding him. 

It felt so good, Lance could feel all the stress just slipping away like that. He could hear small sounds comming out of her mouth, he thrust his hips up in rhythm with her and she let out a surprised moan. 

He felt his chest being rubbed, her hands were soft on his now hot skin. He could feel her start to rub his arms, she paused for a minute, sitting on him, then continued moving. 

“I~i’m close~” Lance whispered. Lance felt her pull off of him and her hand made his way to his dick, Lance came in her hand and on his chest. 

She laid down next to him, both panting hard. Lance kissed her cheek and she cuddled on his chest. 

“We’re all gross.” She commented. 

“I’m tired and drunk, we’ll shower in the morning.” He mumbled. It didn’t take long for them to both fall asleep, but Lance new he would have a killer head ache in the morning. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Lance woke up he was alone, on the nightstand next to the bed was Advil and a cup of water, he gladly took it. 

The clock said it was around 10, fortunately for him he didn’t have any classes today. He looked down at his naked form, he felt dirty and gross, he got up to go shower. 

The warm water felt nice on his skin, he took his time using the soap to clean himself. Plaxum always had the good brands, he enjoyed smelling the different shampoos she had cluttered in the corner. When he was done, he blow dried his hair and wrapped the towel around his waist. He had to wear the clothes he had on yesterday, but he didn’t complain too much. 

Plaxum was reading a book in the living room when he walked out, she had her glasses on, he didn’t know she used them. 

“Hey......” Lance greeted quietly. She motioned him to sit down next to her, she put her book down as Lance took a seat. “I hope this doesn’t change anything, I was kind of hoping it would be more of like a one time friends with benefits kind of thing?” Lance said as a question. 

“It doesn’t change anything, Lance.” She frowned, and looked down, taking his hand. “Lance, I saw your arms.......” Lance frowned too, she didn’t need to know. 

“Things have been really hard for me lately, I’m pulling away from my friends and they’re mad at me, and Keith, the one that kissed me, he’s still mad and I don’t know why!” Lance was so confused, why was this happening to him? Why did Keith hate him so much?! 

“Lance, you need to get professional help, I don’t want this to be like high school again.” She said. “Or worse.” Lance shook his head as tears pooled in his eyes. 

“It’s already worse, it’s so much worse.” Lance’s voice was shaky and uneven, he felt so pathetic. “I crossed a bridge to get here last night, and I was thinking about jumping, but I told myself I couldn’t because you were expecting me and I didn’t want to worry you.” Lance let the tears fall when plaxum hugged him suddenly. He hid his face in her chest and wrapped his weak arms around her, searching for all the comfort he could find. 

“You know I love you, right?” She asked, hoping for a positive answer. She felt Lance nod a tiny bit, which made her feel better. “I love you so much, remember that for me.” 

They ended up taking a nap there on the couch, technically it was still pretty early for the both of them and Lance still had a head ache. 

Lance laid on her chest and he could subconsciously feel her fingers running through his hair. He was happy. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Has Lance texted you yet?” Allura asked for the millionth time. Hunk groaned and rested his head on the back of the couch. 

“No, Allura, Lance hasn’t texted me.” Hunk said. 

“Where the hell has he been staying all this time?!” Pidge asked. 

“I don’t know, Pidge!” Hunk snapped at her. “Nobody knows! He just disappears!” She glared at him and crossed her arms. 

“He’s your roommate, you should know!” She accused. 

“We’re all his friends, we can’t blame each other!” Allura got in between the two. 

“Are we, Allura? Are we his friends still?” Pidge asked, getting in her face. 

“I don’t know what he’s going through right now, but we can’t give up on him, Lance would never give up on us!” Allura glared down at the smaller girl. 

“He should’ve talked to me about this!” Hunk groaned into his hands. “He said he was too scared to share.......” 

“Scared?” Pidge and Allura asked at the same time. 

“I-I think something happened between him and Keith.......” Hunk said in realization. “They’re friends one minute and not the next.” 

“Keith said he was coming over to introduce us to his brother at 1 PM, we could ask then.” Pidge urged. Allura shook her head. 

“No, not when his brother is there. We’ll do it after he leaves.” She decided. 

“Have you tried calling Lance?” Pidge asked. Hunk nodded. 

“I’ve left him at least seven voicemails. I hope he’s not hurt, god knows what he would do after going to a party and not come home.” 

“Let’s just hope he’s safe.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Plaxum had offered to bring Lance to lunch, too raise his spirit, he guessed. They went to the diner Lance always went to with his friends. They didn’t sit in their usual booth though, they sat in the booth by the door. 

Even though it was the afternoon, Lance ordered waffles, because why not. He ate them slowly, savoring them. They were good, but not as good as his mamá’s homemade waffles she used to make every Sunday morning. Lance smiled at the sweet memory. 

“When’s the last time you talked to your friends?” Plaxum asked him. Lance sighed and started fiddling with the salt shaker. 

“I talked to them right before the party, they were mad that I wasn’t hanging out with them anymore, Pidge especially.” Lance said. “I think they’re sick of being friends with me.” He picked up the knife and twirled it in his hands. 

“They’re not sick of you, Lance. They’re just worried, we all are.” She said. Lance out his hands in his lap, taking the knife with him. He hated it when people worried about him, he wasn’t some porcelain doll that would break at any moment, he could deal with his problems on his own. He positioned the knife at his left palm and pushed just deep enough for him to feel the blood trickle down onto the booth seat. 

Out of the corner of his eye he saw an attractive man walking towards the exit, behind him was Keith, was that Keith’s super hot new boyfriend? The tall man didn’t spare him a glance but when Keith saw him he glared with such pure hatred it made Lance push the knife in his hand all the way it made him whimper in pain when he felt something disconnect. 

“Lance?” He heard Plaxum ask from across the table. “Lance, what’s wrong?” Lance stared down at his hand slowly, his breath quickened when he saw the knife sticking out through the other side. 

Plaxum moved from her seat and too his side, she gasped when she saw the bloody mess sitting in his lap. 

“Oh god, oh god! Lance, what did you do?! Some body call an ambulance!” She yelled, Lance felt his face being held up to look at her, he tried looking back down at his hand but she wouldn’t let him. “Don’t look, Lance.” She said. Lance could hear the waitress telling the address over the phone, but his mind felt foggy at the moment, he could basically feel all the blood that had left his hand. Was it a lot? Probably, considering he was having a hard time staying awake. Plaxum tried keeping him awake but he felt his eyes roll back and suddenly everything was black. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His head hurt, everything hurt actually. Lance tried opening his eyes and shut them closed right after the light basically blinded him. It took a couple minutes, but Lance slowly blinked the sleep out of his eyes. He was at the hospital, in a bed, he felt someone holding his hand and looked to his right. 

Plaxum was crying, he couldn’t see her face but he could feel her shaking. Lance looked at his left hand, which was in some sort of cast from the looks of it. He looked back at Plaxum and squeezed the hand she was holding. 

“Plax......” He whispered. She looked up and revealed the tears streaming down her face. 

“Oh thank g-god your awake-!” She gasped, hugging him closely. He hugged her back tiredly. “I was so scared!” 

“It’s okay......i’m okay now.” Lance mumbled. She pulled back and looked at him in the eyes, giving him a stern look. 

“You’re not okay, Lance. You need help, ever since that boy, Keith, ever since he kissed you, it’s been tearing you apart.” She said. Lance wanted to shake his head but he had a huge headache. 

“I don’t need anything, I dealt with it alone before, I can deal with it alone now.” 

“Lance, do you even know what you did to your hand?!” She yelled in anger, Lance looked down at his hand in the cast. “You cut right through your pretendinous bands! The doctors say you won’t ever be able to move your hand again!” 

Lance’s breath caught in his throat. He couldn’t move his hand anymore? When trying, he felt anger surge through him when hid fingers stayed where they were. Tears slipped out of his eyes as he thought of all the loses. Playing the guitar during Christmas with his family, knitting with his elder relatives, braiding his younger siblings hair, he couldn’t do any of it. 

He felt Plaxum’s hand on his shoulder, he looked up through his tear filled eyes, she looked like she was about to break down at any minute. 

“You need to call your family.” She said. 

“No~!” Lance cried. He couldn’t tell them, he couldn’t burden them any more. He’s the reason their family broke apart, he deserved to suffer alone. 

“Lance, if you don’t, I will.” She threatened, handing him the hospital phone. Lance cried as he typed in his mamá’s number and put it to his ear. A couple seconds later he heard her sweet voice. 

“Hello?” She had a thick accent that Lance loved. 

“Mamá.......” More tears slipped out of his eyes and onto his hospital gown. 

“Lance?” She asked worriedly. “Cariño, where are you? Who’s phone are you using, I don’t recognize the number.” She asked. Lance choked on his sobs. 

“Mamá, I did something bad......” 

Plaxum left the room, taking Lance’s cell with her to call one of his friends. She recognized Pidge’s number right away and put the phone to her ear. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m so glad Keith finally introduced you to us, even though Allura and Lance couldn’t be here.” Hunk said, putting a tray of cookies on the coffee table. 

“I’m glad too, i’m surprised Keith made friends so fast.” Shiro chuckled as Keith punched him in the arm. 

“Yea, I wouldn’t worry about Keith, he’s a little weird but we love him anyway.” Pidge laughed when Keith half heartedly glared at her. Pidge felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and answered the call. “Hello?” She asked, making them all look her way. Suddenly her face turned serious and she sat up straighter. “What the fuck?” She asked, making Hunk her flustered. 

“Pidge, no cussing in front of the new guy.” 

“Oh my god, okay, we’ll be right there.” She hung up the phone and got up from the couch. “Hunk, we have to go.” She said. 

“But Keith and Shiro just got here!” Hunk complained. Pidge turned and glared at him. 

“Hunk, we have to go now!” She growled, hunk blinked and slowly turned to the two brothers. 

“Uh, sorry we couldn’t stay longer, it was nice to meet you Shiro!” Hunk didn’t know if they heard the whole sentence because suddenly Pidge was dragging him out of the apartment room. “Pidge, what’s the rush?” He asked. 

“I’ll explain it on the way, just hurry up!” She ordered. 

Hunk drove, not knowing where he was going. 

“Pidge, can you please tell me where we are going?” He asked. 

“The hospital, Lance got hurt.” She said. Hunk slammed on the breaks, there was no one behind them so that was good, but the seat belt rubbed uncomfortably against Pidge’s neck. 

“What?! Why the hell aren’t we bringing Keith?!” Hunk asked in shock. Pidge glared at him. 

“Don’t you see Hunk? This is all Keith’s fault!” She said. 

“What the hell are you talking about........” Hunk asked in confusion. 

“Just drive!” Pidge growled in anger, Hunk gripped the wheel and drove. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The hospital wasn’t too hard to find their way around. Lance was in room 385, when they got there, there was a girl sitting outside in the chair next to the door. 

“Plaxum?” Pidge asked as they walked up. The blue haired girl stood up and hugged Pidge, it had been a while since they’d seen each other. “Is Lance okay?” She asked. 

“I don’t know........” She answered honestly. 

“What happened to him?” Hunk asked, still confused about this whole thing. 

So Plaxum told them everything, about Keith kissing him and kicking him out, and then ignoring Lance, how Lance started cutting again and was thinking about suicide, and she explained what happened in the diner with the knife.

“Oh my god, what’s the damage?” Hunk felt like a bad best friend, Lance had to go through all of this without him. 

“He won’t be able to move his hand, but the doctors are more worried about his mental state. They want to put him on suicide watch.” Plaxum said. 

“Lance has never liked help from others, he won’t like to hear that.” Pidge said. Plaxum nodded knowingly. 

“It took a lot of convincing but I told them that they could assign him a therapist.” She said. 

“That would help, who knows what Lance is thinking when we’re not around.” Pidge ran her hand through her hair and sighed. “I’m going to go back to the apartment too talk to Keith.” 

“Are you sure you don’t want to see Lance?” Hunk asked. 

“Trust me, I want too as much as you do, but I need to know why the hell Keith has been acting like such a jackass to Lance when he didn’t do anything wrong.” Pidge walked down the hall and went to go to Hunks car. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Keith was reading a Shakespeare book on the couch when Pidge stormed through the door. Shiro had left a couple minutes before, Keith told him it was fine if he left. Keith put down his book when Pidge walked over to him and glared. 

“Yes?” Keith asked. 

“Don’t ‘yes’ me! I want to know why the hell you’ve been acting how you’ve been acting!” Pidge yelled in his face. 

“How have I been acting exactly?” Keith asked. 

“You’ve been ignoring Lance! Do you know what Lance had gone through in the past months?!” She asked, not giving Keith the chance to answer. “No! You don’t know! Now get up, we’re going to the hospital.” 

“What’s at the hospital?” Keith asked slightly worried. 

“Lance is at the hospital.” She said, pushing Keith towards the door and shoving him outside. 

“Is he okay?” 

“Keith, I swear if you don’t get your ass in the car in the next ten seconds I will explode!” She yelled. Keith deflated and walked towards the elevator. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I know, i’m sorry, Mamá........” Lance whispered. 

“Hijo, you don’t have to be afraid to tell us anything. You know we love you, you are my precious ray of sunlight, and I worry about your safety. I’m getting a plane ticket as soon as I can to America, te amo.” She said sweetly. Lance wiped his tears away and nodded, even though she couldn’t see him. 

“Te amo, Mamá.” He hung up the phone and put it back on the nightstand. Plaxum and Hunk entered the room a minute later looking concerned. 

“Lance, god, i’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed us.” Hunk said. Lance nodded. 

“Hey, it’s okay big guy, I wasn’t completely alone. I’ve been staying at Plaxum’s house at night, she’s been taking care of me.” Lance said. Hunk gave Plaxum a grateful nod and he held Lance’s uninjured hand. 

A knock came at the door, Pidge peaked her head in. 

“Hey, Buddy, I know you might not want this right now but I think it’s time you and samurai have a chat.” She opened the door and Keith stood there nervously. Lance looked down at his lap. 

“Could I have a minute alone with Keith, please?” He asked quietly. 

“Of course, Buddy.” Hunk answered. He, Plaxum, and Pidge all left the room. Keith awkwardly sat where Hunk had before, avoiding Lance’s eyes. 

Keith felt a pang in his chest when he saw Lance’s body, the gown was a short sleeve, showing all of the cuts and scars Lance had inflicted on himself. Tears pooled in his eyes at the thought of him not knowing about what Lance had done to himself. 

“Is there a reason why you treated me the way you did?” Lance asked coldly, Keith’s eyebrows went up in concern. 

“I-I didn’t-“

“Was there a reason for the way you glared every time you looked at me? Every time I would try and talk to you, you would ignore me?! What the hell did I ever do to you, Keith?! Were you mad because I didn’t kiss you back?! Because i’m sorry, that I didn’t want to take you, a drunk, for advantage like that!” Lance yelled at him, making Keith flinch and the tears fall out of his eyes. 

“I didn’t mean to........I t-thought you were trying to.....I thought you tried to force yourself into me......I didn’t know........” Keith thought he would go hysterical, he was drunk at the time, his brain was foggy on the memories from that night, he remembered kissing and yelling. 

“You were drunk, Keith!” Lance yelled in anger. “You didn’t think to maybe talk to me about it the next day?!” 

Keith looked down in shame, his whole body overcome in fear, he couldn’t stop shaking. 

“W~what did I do~?” He spoke barely about a whisper, voice so weak even Lance felt bad. 

“I brought you home because some guy made you spill your beer on yourself, I cleaned your chest with a wet rag and you kissed me, and I kissed you.........and when I realized what I was doing I pushed you away, and you didn’t like that so you told me to leave, and when I didn’t you pushed me out of your room and left me on the ground. Next thing I know you’re glaring at me all the time.....” Lance chuckled weakly. 

“Oh god.........oh god, Lance. I’m s~so sorry~!” Keith cried, hiding his face in his hands. 

“Do you know how scared I am of rejection? I lost all my friends in high school because I was caught kissing a boy behind the bleachers, my Dad left us when I came out as bi, and now you!” Lance was crying now, but he didn’t care. “Do you even realize what you made me do to myself?!” He yelled. Keith didn’t answer, he was looking down so Lance couldn’t see his eyes. “I had stopped cutting, Keith! I had gotten better! But you! You made me hate myself all over again! I was really considering jumping off a bridge because of you!” 

They were both openly crying now, Lance was clutching the bed bar on the side with his hand, trying not to lash out. Keith felt small in his seat, he knew he fucked up, he should’ve talked to Lance the day after to clear things up, if he did it wouldn’t have ended up like this. 

“And today when we saw each other at lunch, that glare you gave me? The one full of pure hatred? It made me want to stab myself with a knife, I did stab myself with a knife! Now I can’t move any of my fingers-!” Lance was cut off by Keith hugging him, the ebony was shaking so badly Lance thought he would have a panic attack. 

“I~I didn’t m~mean too........I didn’t know you w~would..........” Keith trailed off, sobbing into Lance’s gown. Keith felt Lance’s fingers run through his air, he took in a shaky breath and cleared his throat so his voice would be so wobbly. “I’m sorry........” 

“I wanted to hate you........” Lance mumbled into his hair. “I wanted to keep my mind off you by staying away from the group, by staying at Plaxum’s house.” Lance could still feel Keith shaking, and he hoped what he said next wouldn’t make it worse. “And I slept with her last night.......” 

Keith clenched his fist around Lance’s gown for a second, trying to steady his breathing. He took a minute to calm himself. 

“That’s o~okay........” Keith whimpered. Lance shook his head, he didn’t like that answer. 

“It’s not like that, we talked about it and it was just a one time thing. I was drunk and my mind was going places I didn’t want them to go, I wanted to distract myself so I asked her.” He explained. Keith nodded in understanding. 

“It’s okay if you don’t like me, maybe it would be for the best if I just stayed away for a while.” Keith said, making Lance panic slightly. 

“No, no no no no, Keith. I know I should hate you, I’ve tried so hard to try hating you for everything you put me through, I hated myself for loving you.” 

Keith choked on a sob, somehow finding himself looking into Lance’s grey eyes, Keith loved his eyes, even if they weren’t the beautiful blue they used to be. 

“I could never ever hate you, Keith.” Lance said with so much emotion Keith thought he might crack. 

“Will you forgive me?” He asked weakly. Lance caressed his cheek lovingly and nodded. Keith let out a sob of relief and he hugged the Cuban. Lance hugged him back and relaxed into his arms. When Keith pulled back, their noses were touching. “Can I kiss you?” He asked softly. Lance nodded and hesitantly touched his lips against Keith’s. 

Keith’s lips were soft, and tasted like salt because of their tears mixing together, but Lance didn’t care at the moment. He had been waiting to kiss Keith for so long, kiss him for real. His hand made his way to Keith’s neck and he twirled the silky black hair there. 

Keith pulled back first, a blushing mess, and tears still running down his face. Lance gently wiped them away and gave him one more peck on the lips. 

“I love you.” Lance said. Keith touched the hand on his face and closed his eyes. 

“I love you too.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“It’s been thirty minutes, what do you think they’re doing?” Plaxum asked, twirling her hair in boredom. 

“What if they murdered each other?” Hunk asked. 

“Nah, they’re probably making out.” Pidge said, searching through Instagram on her phone. 

“........should we check on them?” Plaxum asked. 

Pidge was the one who opened the door, Hunk and Plaxum behind her. Pidge snorted at what she saw. 

They were both sleeping, Keith curled up on the bed at Lance’s side, Lance’s good hand was wrapped around Keith’s waist and they both looked peaceful. 

“They’ll Be Fine.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lance was sitting on his bed when Keith came in his room. He had been adjusting the tightness in his cast, it was too tight. The doctors had told him to wear it at all times, even though Lance’s injury was long healed, so he didn’t injury himself further. He thought it was stupid, but Shiro, Keith’s brother, had given him a long lecture about how he could accidentally break his wrist if he didn’t wear it. So Lance agreed, even though it was really uncomfortable. 

“Is that thing still bothering you?” Keith sat down next to him and wrapped his arms around his waist. 

“I mean, i’m grateful for it and all, but it kind of sucks when you can’t feel your blood circulation getting cut off since I can’t feel anything.” Lance commented. Keith frowned and rested his head on the other boys shoulder. 

“I’m sorry.” The ebony whispered. Lance shook his head. The rest of his friends had still treated him very delicately, like if they said something to harsh he would have some sort of mental breakdown. Keith was the only one who treated him the same, Lance told him he didn’t like being treated differently. 

It had been two months since he got out of the hospital, and one month since he’d stopped cutting. Keith still blamed himself for what happened, Lance told him he wasn’t mad, but he knew Keith still felt guilty. 

“Hey, stop that.” Lance said, cupping Keith’s cheek. “You know I don’t blame you for this, don’t blame yourself.” Keith closed his eyes as Lance kissed his cheek, putting his hand over Lance’s and smiling. 

“You must be tired after therapy, want to cuddle and fall asleep even though it’s the middle of the day and Shiro will lecture us later?” Keith offered, Lance pulled them both down to lay on the bed, wrapping each other in their arms and getting comfortable. 

Lance was upset at first when Plaxum told him he had to tell his family about what happened, he was happy about it now of course, his whole family had come to America for a week.

He explained what had happened with Keith and they were mad at the boy who hurt their Lance, Lance had to convince them that everything had worked out and they were now dating. It was awkward at first for Keith, but he soon got used to all the hugs and kisses they gave him. 

He and Keith were taking things slow, they had never gone further than making out, and they were both happy. They cuddled 67 percent of the day and always gave each other sweet hugs and peppered their faces in kisses. 

They didn’t live together, usually everybody would hang out at Keith’s and Pidge’s apartment, mostly because Pidge wanted to hide all the food Hunk would make in the fridge. Eventually they would both want to live together, but it was still early in their relationship and they still had a lot of time to think things over. 

Lance was happy about how things were going, he was taking medication and going to therapy, he and Keith’s relationship was going smoothly, and for once in his life, Lance didn’t feel so stressed. 

He wanted to grow up and marry Keith someday, have a family with him, grow old together, get grandchildren, but Lance still had time in the future to think about that. He would have to wait a couple years before taking things to the next level, but right now, he cherished this moment with his cariño.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are appreciated!! :D


End file.
